I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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