you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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