She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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