I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
