Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
