I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize