I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
