I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize