Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
