Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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