Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
