Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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