Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
