my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
