Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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