Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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