New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
