Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
