I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
