Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
