they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
