Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
