I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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