Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
