never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
