I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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