My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
