The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
