Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.