I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done