90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy