I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
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You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
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Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering