I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
