I hate your face
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
