were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
