you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Farmville is her only friend.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize