38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
