I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
