you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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