oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
