I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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