Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I deserve this hangover.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
