He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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