I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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