As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
