I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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