Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
