Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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