It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
