I wish I only lived at night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
