Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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