Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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