It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize