I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
