we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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