he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
