The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
