So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
