Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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