I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
