i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
