how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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